Mental Pause

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Religion

I'm currently reading about, reviewing, and examining my religious beliefs. I follow the BIG TEN as closely as possible - I'm not always successful, but some of 'em are a given - don't commit adultery for example. 1. I don't think anyone else would put up with me and 2. The consequence of such an act would hurt everyone I love too much and 3. I really really love my husband. Also, the covet thy neighbor's wife one - while I would really like to have a wife to do my cooking, washing and ironing the little woman next door is safe from me. Only one woman in this household. In my review of my beliefs and practice I realized that I have had faith for a very long time. Does Sunday school count? I won a Bible when I was about 8 because I could quote the most Bible verses (I'm also very competitive and that helped); I baptized my kittens, I didn't dunk 'em I gently placed each one on a straw broom, raised 'em in the air a couple of times then sprinkled their little heads. I knew then that they would go to Heaven. I participated in the ground breaking cereamony for Armstrong Memorial Presbyterian Church (now Eastminister Presbyterian), and when my Dad had issues with the Pastor of the Church and left to attend a Baptist Church my good friend, Judy, and I supported my Dad by ringing the doorbell of the Pastor's home - then quickly hiding behind the raised porch - when his wife came outside we threw eggs at her. (I'm not quite sure if this one qualifies as religious, but it was a cereamony of sorts). Judy's Father was a Holiness preacher so when I slept over at her house we always had Bible reading and prayer time. As curious children and questioning our beliefs Judy and I gathered a shoe box full (well, not exactly full - there were lots and lots) of tadpoles. We placed them in the loft in her garage to wait and watch to see how long it would take 'em to turn to dust. Did I mention that it was summer? We just knew it wouldn't take very long for this event to happen. Oh yea, the garage was the home of the family washer and dryer. We never gave consideration that something would actually rot - we just concentrated on dust - needless to say, her mother spent a lot of time doing laundry since there were five children in the house and, of course, quickly picked up on the rot part - not the dust. Yes we got in trouble and we still don't know how long it takes for dust. We were 10 years old when we undertook this adventure. Did I mention that her father spoke in tongues - and we actually practiced speaking in tongues so that we would sound like him - funny thing about learning another language - I may not be able to carry on a conversation, however, I still can speak a sentence or two! When my girls came along I made sure that they always participated in Bible School and Sunday School. I dressed them in their very best (how cute and sweet they looked) and we would walk to the closest church which happend to be Methodist. I had such great memories of Bible School and I wanted them to have 'em too. They did, in fact, look forward to this summer ritual for a while, but my oldest started to get a bad attitude about getting out of bed and attending services with me. She set such a good example for her sister that it didn't take long for both of 'em to start throwing fits, stomping through the house and screaming that they hated going. It just wore me out - how can you even be pleasant to people when you are sitting in church thinking of ways to get even with your kids. So, that was the end of that, but let me share one more experience with you, I was visiting a Catholic church with my friend and had put my youngest in the nursery since she was so young. She still wasn't quite potty trained but almost. Anyway, after the service was over I went to retrieve her and she wanted to go potty when I picked her up - we promptly went into the restroom and I attempted to pull her panties down and there wer no panties! I asked her if she had wet herself and she said no. I went back to the nursery to retrieve her panties. When I asked the teacher about them she informed me that she had not been wearing any and had noticed it each time she slid down the slide in the play area. OH MY GOD!!! I was sooooo embarrassed. Kids will get even with you in their own way so watch out!! I had asked her to try to pee prior to leaving for church and she did as she was told - she simply forgot to put her panties back on. Anyway, just food for thought.

link | posted by BootyJC at 9:45 AM

3 Comments:

Anonymous had this to say:: So Erin was destined to be the exhibitionist that she became!; January 11, 2007 at 2:46 PM
Erin had this to say:: SSHHHHHH......don't tell everyone my secrets.; January 11, 2007 at 6:10 PM
soapbox.SUPERSTAR had this to say:: Well at least she "forgot" and did not ommit the panties on purpose as my daughter did here.

Kaiden is VERY spiritual. To the point that it boggles my mind. She is always singing to Jesus or telling my I need more Jesus in my heart...totally unprovoked!!!; January 11, 2007 at 9:01 PM